New Moon Journal: Deep freezing the Amex card

Are you a Brokeback Healer? How are your finances? Once upon a time I went to the local American Express office, I needed to buy Travelers checks for our summer vacation.

Distracted Amex Lady behind the glass: I need your credit card to do the transaction.

Michele: I have my drivers license. Can I give you the card number and you look up my account in the system?

Amex Lady: No, where’s your card?

Michele: “My card is in the freezer,” now I have her attention “I froze my Amex card in a zip lock bag of water. If I want to buy something I have to wait for the baggie to thaw to unlock the credit card. I’ll be back in an hour. As I walked away I heard the Amex Lady laughing. It made her day, I suspect she knew my drama…

Ten years ago this action step helped me deal with my money issues. Let’s talk about value, hoarding, money and Taurus.

Are you a Brokeback healer? Do you give away the store and then wonder why your bank account is dry? Do you long to attend a retreat at places like Omega Institute or The Crossings, but never seem to have the time or the cash to do so? Do you give away your services at a reduced rate because the person calling doesn’t ‘have the money” or you are so spiritual? If so, you are a brokeback healer.- Inspired from an article– 7 Ways to Spot a Brokeback Entrepreneur by Leesa Barnes

Taking a risk and starting your own business: Creating your Healership may come in many forms but bottom line we are all operating a small business. Sometimes we don’t act like we are in business; you are the entrepreneur taking a risk, offering something of value. My best friend Shilo is a shamanic practitioner, a gifted, talented artist and sacred toolmaker. In a down sizing layoff five years ago she lost her computer programming job. What next? Through a series of miracles, and a lot of courage she stepped into her power and started living the life of the artist she always dreamed of being. Read her Dreamweaving story here.

Claiming her entrepreneurial artist self Shilo presented her beautiful hand woven Dream Amulet bags at a retreat six months after the layoff. Many Dream Bags sold right away and she took several custom orders. One particular Dream Bag held a woman’s interest. Shilo channels divine energy into each and every piece that she creates, the objects are imbrued with a sacred story, one that resonates with the person’s Higher Self. Healer Woman wanted that one bag really, really bad. Yet when she heard the price she exclaimed “that’s way TOO much money for that!” and a rant of other complaints spilled forth. It wasn’t nice. From across the room I watched both women go into energetic contraction.

An unconscious competition for energy underlies all conflicts. By dominating or manipulating others, we get the extra energy we think we need. Sure it feels good- but both parties are damaged in the conflict.- 4th Insight Celestine Prophecy.

How is your Life Pulse around money, are you in a:

Contracted state– fight or flight, how are you moving money in your life? Are you constantly where it all goes, there’s never enough. Do you feel the need for silence/contemplation or just plain “I want to stop reading because she’s tapping a nerve.” An energetic contraction may bring up “I need to get out of my body and numb out” This is mud may be related to the earth of Saturn, 1^st chakra.
Expanded state, merged with spirit, mystic…feet off the ground “I am merged and the physical doesn’t matter.” Or the flip of this there’s never enough so I need to hoard or get things for free. Expanded states bring on creativity, growth, building…expansion also translates to greed, cruelty, and hoarding. Mud related to the fire of Jupiter 2^nd chakra, earth of Taurus. (Taurus rules hoarding and we saw a lot of that negative intent while Saturn moved through Taurus in 1999).
Stasis– balanced, heart centered, loving. Can also represent the inner state of stagnation, putrefication and inertia. Muddy water of Mars in Scorpio/3^rd chakra, power issues, don’t worry here’s where Pluto steps in.

We all have a money story to share, the Call in Taurus is to journal about it, feel it and find a center point. As a Healer, the task is to learn how to recognize and manage all three energetic states of being and stay in balance (Libra). In a balanced state we are tapped in to spirit and grounded with Earth- creating value and taking action. You create a product or service that others want which translates into $$$ like Marsha Sinetar says~ ‘Do what you love, the money will follow’.

When one is in fear (contraction) around money, you project that fear onto the other person, be it marriage, business and Healer woman/new artist at a retreat. Our fear can be like a hot potato no one wants to hold onto for very long. If you have the same issue/vibration you are in a shadow dance. Both Shilo and Healer woman found themselves stuck in the contracted energy running their inner dialogs about money and finances. Oh my. Rather than critiquing the art and artist, Healer woman could have said…“I don’t have the money for the bag, can we work something out?” Offering up a win/win rather than lose/lose. But no that did not happen.

The beaded bag incident offered up a huge learning for Shilo about her inner dialog with abundance. I know, I was her roommate. She came to the conclusion “I deserve to be an artist, I deserve to be paid.” Once she found her value, her center point in the experience–contraction, expansion and stasis- a solution appeared.

I have witnessed this time and time again in both clients and healers who go into a contracted state around their money issues- asking for money, receiving money, spending money. The task- become fearless. It’s about earth, being grounded, having abundance, creativity and manifesting. Your first chakra (Saturn), fifth chakra (Mercury) and 4th Chakra (Venus) all working in sacred harmony, balance. Earth related to structure, communication and heart.

Taurus/Scorpio Polarity: Money is an energy, it’s an exchange of energy representing abundance, earth/matter (Taurus and Capricorn). Earthy Taurus represents issues with self-esteem, self-worth, abundance. Earthy Capricorn represents the structure (father image) we rub up against in our quest to become grounded and responsible adults. Our task “How am I building a structure to manifest my creative inspirations (dreams) into matter (Saturn/1st chakra)? How do I make it real?”

In the Taurus area of your chart you are called to claim your worth… “I value”. I value me and in turn I value what you offer as a partner (Scorpio). We are both transformed in the experience. On a personal level Taurus resides in my seventh house- house of partnerships, marriage. When I was a child my family lived on a money roller coaster with more dips than peaks that left me with an inner child who felt “if I have money my family life goes to hell.”

I brought my unconscious money baggage into our marriage. As an adult I would start to ‘make it’ and then sabotage things by spending. After I sold my business in ‘92 my spending addiction got worse– our savings dwindled down and our credit debt went up. One day Dear Husband angrily said “you grew up in the chaos of ‘not having enough’ and if we do have enough you’re afraid that everything will fall apart. You fear being wealthy.”

Arrgh!! he nailed my shadow dead on! How dare he! … my money chaos was familiar, I was afraid, and somehow I found the courage to surrender into it… I made changes.

Slowly over the next two years I took ownership and became responsible (Capricorn). I read money books (Your money or your life), I breathed it, I journeyed on it, I talked with a therapist. A friend introduced me to the Abraham-Hicks tapes on the Law of Attraction and the Law of Deliberate Creation; I started embodying the principles; took my financial inventory and re-framed my thinking. It wasn’t easy.

First I cut up all the credit cards except the American Express card (you have to pay it all off at the end of the month). That card I froze in a bag of water, that worked for me. As I owned what I did and made amends a strange thing happened…more money flowed into Dear Husband’s business which allowed us to climb out of debt, allowed me to be a stay-at-home mom.

It also afforded me an opportunity to be a practicing artist and healer, I could now travel and attend retreats, spend time developing my writing. I brought the retreat learnings back into my community and started teaching. The energy of money in our coupleship became a win/win rather than a win/lose, we became partners, reciprocity in action. We lived more in the now so we could plan for our future.

The people you see who are getting what they want in life are almost always those who have figured out how to enjoy paying the price, which of course makes it easy to pay…The essence of the Law of Attraction- this price is just whatever you need to give in order to attract or create what you want. That’s why just sitting there hoping and wishing doesn’t work. You have to act on those intentions.- page 11 from Bill Harris ChatteringMind

Be honest, do you enjoy paying the price?
Do you know the benefit of your service or product?
Do you know what you do? Can you speak clearly about it?
Do you know the value of your time, your hourly rate? How much are you worth?
Are you seeking approval, care taking, suffering from an overdeveloped sense of responsibility?
Do you feel better than another because of these actions?

Energy Drainers: From an astrological point of view people in the healing arts confuse and blur the boundaries between the call and response of the 10th house-Career, 11th house-Service, and 12th house -Spirit. As an entrepreneur and a healer you are called to make money from your passion- your professional career that translates into service so you can tithe back to the community… taking $$ and giving $$. Reciprocity. Somehow Healers end up BEING the service and this doesn’t work. In the past twelve years of my practice Healers contact me and say “I don’t charge my clients for the Work”…then wonder "why am I broke, drained and tired?" As Dr. Phil says “How’s that working for ya?” How are your actions paying it forward?

Are you draining people by your relationship issues with money? Are you taking, taking, taking? Or giving, giving, giving? Are you afraid to spend? If lack of money is an issue and you’ve watched the movie The Secret, made your intentions, but haven’t addressed shadow issues that hold you -back-up–in-or down, then how do you expect to manifest your dreams? Would you please take care of yourself in a nurturing, loving way...

Sometimes I hear “I can’t afford to work on myself right now.” You can’t afford not too. How about “I am so spiritual” now don’t ask me to do my good juicy inner work (which can be messy-may invoke crying, choking and puking). Dear friend you may be in spiritual by-pass. Healers tell me “I did my inner work”…huh? isn’t our inner work an ongoing life journey.

Do you look for goods, services, help and/or support while offering little or no money in exchange? Why? If you value yourself, your craft- and I consider my healership a form of art- your time, then expect to be compensated- and I don’t mean bartering.

Bill Harris shares “It never hurts to ask for help, even if you’re not sure how to compensate the other person. But always start with the willingness to compensate them in some way, even if you don’t yet know how. Ask and see what happens”- [that is how Shilo and the Healer Woman worked out a win/win on the beaded Dream Bag.]

New Moon in Taurus on May 16th, 2007 at 3:27 PM: Before we get to this New Moon take the opportunity to reflect on your own issues with abundance- How does the relationship with wealth and money reflect your family of origin issues? What money habit blocks your growth? Go into an observer mode. Watch your reaction and response to situations and people that tweak you.

Look to see where Taurus is in your chart. What house is it in? Are there any planets in Taurus? What about Scorpio? This is where the action is at the New Moon in Taurus. Check out your first chakra… how are you grounding yourself in your everyday world…how much money is in your bank account? How’s your retirement account? Check out your 5th chakra, the throat- how are you speaking your truth? Check out your heart chakra- how are you living a balanced life filled with abundance through your creative energy?

New Moon SoulCollage for Taurus: Look deeply into how your past relationships influences your money, do an inventory. Become accountable. Watch the inner dialog for the next two weeks. Get a buddy and work on hoarding and manifesting. Commit to watching The Secret to you affirmation video, it's simple and powerful:

Create a SoulCollage card or two for the committee members in your head that captures your strongest money voice. See what happens. I invite you to do it now before the New Moon in Taurus on May 16th.